A trait of mine is always negative thinking. No matter what the situation, no matter how good i always find a way of putting it down. Got a job after being unemployed for ages and my first words were "bet it'll be a shit job", ok it is but the point being instead of being happy the first thing i did was slate it. In the past i've been out on dates and everything would be going well and classic me would just start putting a negative spin on it and before i know it she would be off.
Anytime i'm about to ask someone something, anything, before i've even asked the question i have a thousand answers in my head, all of which are the answers i don't want to hear. Hard to get away from that.
I constantly put any oppertunity passed my way down. I could find a reason to put a dampner on the birth of a child. Any suggestion made to me is scrutinised for something that'll make me look silly or make me come out worse. I suppose some of this thinking is down to me believing that if i say i'm not really bothered and play everything down and to some extent, don't get involved, then i can't be made to look silly, i can't be hurt and i can say to everyone i told you so.....i wasn't bothered anyway.
I can't really pin point when i became Mr.Negative(i could have a charachter in a mr men book) and that doesn't bother me much, of course i want to be more positive but what does get to me is why do i think everyone is waiting for me to fall when i am in a positive mood.?
Trying to think of more examples is difficult, maybe its all blurred into one, but the bottom line is i turn every positive to a negative. I constanly analyse every situation i am in and look for ways to bring it down. Very rarely will you hear me see the words "i can't wait" "looking forward to it" and "i'm so excited" unless i'm being sarcastic.
What to do? Open up more, look at other people expressing normal human emotions and join in...no one is watching me, no one cares what i did or said so why should i? I recognise these kinda things and by writting it down i hope i take it and change. I'm not mr doom and gloom, i'm just not sure how to act, i worry what others think.
So.....i've identified another problem, now to work on it.
I know what you mean, can be negative myself, because more often than not, it's more realistic.
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